Paraprosdokians

Yeah, I didn’t know what that word meant either until I came across it in a Facebook post. A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech where the end of the sentence has an unexpected and often humorous ending. A couple examples: If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Now here are five of my favorite Paraprosdokians:

1. “If I could just say a few words … I’d be a better public speaker.” Homer Simpson.
2. “If all the girls attending the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.” Dorothy Parker
3. I’m a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge. Robin Williams
4. Always remember my grandfather’s last words: “A truck!” Emo Phillips, worth a follow on Twitter @EmoPhilips
5. “I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.”  Mitch Hedberg, The late, great comedian, a fellow Minnesotan.